Last Monday, I called an old girlfriend to chat about some stuff. This wasn’t one of those High Fidelity calls to see where our relationship went wrong, quite the opposite. It seems our lives have taken very different paths since we were together. She has gotten into holistic medicines, meditation, spiritual, guidance and all those sorts of things.
I’m not one to practice these types of things, but I do believe they can work and take them seriously. I’ll crack jokes about them as well, especially the people who are a little too into it and feel it can fix everything in their life. This is something that can happen to anybody no matter what it is they find peace in. I know several alcoholics who are so into the program, that they have basically lost all social skills unless discussing A.A. related topics. It’s kind of sad really.
Anyway, She was out of town and I left a message about my moods recently as well as my smoking and other challenges I’ve been facing. I asked if she’d be willing to talk about some exercises I might try, books to recommend that could help me find some balance in myself.
I hung up and pretty much figured I’d never hear from her. We had recently sent a few emails back and forth offering apologies and amends and I figured that would be enough. Just because you have forgiven someone, doesn’t mean you want to carry on a conversation with him or her, ya know.
Surprise, surprise I get a call from her on Friday afternoon. We talked for about an hour and a half and it was a really good conversation. She even told me that she has a lot of fondness for our past relationship. That was incredible. I tend to focus on all the ugly shit I did and she has chosen to remember the good stuff. She told me how brilliant and funny I am and that I will always be a special person to her. I almost choked up at that point. But hey, I’m a man so I don’t do things like that. I waited until the call was over to let a few tears run.
We discussed my situation and she recommended a few books to read, and some herbs to look into trying. She mentioned the smoking was probably helping my system going a little haywire from time to time and gave some advice on ways of quitting that as well.
We laughed and had a good old time. She’s just gotten engaged to this guy she’s been seeing for a few years and has been living with for the last year and a half. Here’s the point where you’d think I’d feel something rotten inside. Where the Rob Gordon would come out and I’d throw some kind of fit. Nothing like that happened. As a matter of fact I was overcome with happiness.
I was always concerned that I had screwed her up so bad that she’d never be able to truly commit to anyone ever again. I had caused some major emotional damage when we were dating and for some people, that could be the end of it. She came back stronger and better than ever. She did a lot of work on herself and found a person inside that is really impressive to talk to. I think she’s a great woman and it sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.
We talked about getting together the next time she is down in L.A. and I’ll get to meet the fiancé, which I find exciting. Funny how life works sometimes, isn’t it? The last person you expect to ever talk to you again ends up being one of the people who reaches out to help. It makes me feel that humanity has a shot.
Thank you Megan. You made an ex feel good about life for a while.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
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Interesting website with a lot of resources and detailed explanations.
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