Take It Off

Yesterday was Air G’s Birthday. He turned 32 so that’s not bad.

As part of the celebration, we went to the Seven Veils strip club. If you don’t know it, it’s the club they show for Kevin Dillon’s credit in the opening of Entourage. It’s also about three blocks from where I live. I’ve passed by several times, but never gone in. I’m all for strip clubs, I’ve spent my share of time in them and have unloaded plenty of cash. I once even rented out the V.I.P. room an entire night. That’s a story for another time.

So we go in last night and right off the bat I know it’s a full nude show. This is easy to figure out because no one is served alcohol. All of the patrons were drinking soda or bottled water. Also there was a naked lady swinging around the pole. Big hint.


I won’t say that I have become disinterested in the clubs, but I see them with different eyes now. I used to enjoy the exploitation, the breasts in the face, the lap dances, but times change. Now it’s more about performance. What they wear, how they dance, costume design, etcetera.

Two of the dancers stuck out in my mind after leaving. The first one, we all considered the best one of the night. She was tall, thin, gorgeous, and had moves, but there was something else. She had a level of class about her. She walked well in the shoes and didn’t look like she might fall at any second. Her outfits were close to being normal. They weren’t stripper clothes, but rather tight regular t-shirts and skirts. She could have gone out in the street dressed like that and it added o the allure. Plus she looked like she enjoyed herself. She had an energy and vigor that made everything she did seem like fun. Plus the second time she came out, she was wearing glasses and it gave it the whole sexy librarian, hot for teacher thing.

The second one was the crazy chic. When I say crazy, I mean watching her dance was nothing but an interpretive way of saying, “I have issues.” Her teeth were also a giveaway that she was a user of some type of drug/s. She was called Eleckta, my guess, not her real name. I didn’t ask to see her I.D. She went nuts on stage. She simulated doggy style on a guy, rubbed her crotch on anything that resembled a face and worked the pole like crazy. I give her major props for her pole work, it was like some Russian circus performer spinning and climbing and dropping within an inch of hitting her head. It was very impressive stuff. Now here’s the tough part, for me. She crawls over to our group and picks up two of the sodas that we have been drinking. They are in clear plastic cups. She puts one cup over each breast and leans up to shake them around. The cola swishes and tumbles over her tits. She leans down and removes the cups, so as not to spill any, then moves on to her next bit.


How do you tip for that? She has just done something that is imaginative and not really the normal thing, but she has also just ruined eight dollars worth of soda. I looked back down at the coke and it was foggy from baby powder and tit sweat. Now I need to give her money for that? Admittedly, I have downed pretty much any liquid in my life, but I think this is where I draw the line.

I ended up giving her two bucks for the effort, but in my head I only gave her a 3 out of a potential 10 points.

So what have I learned? Fewer psychos and more librarians are needed in my life.