Oh, Well

I promised to be honest when I started this thing, so here I am being honest. This doesn’t make for the most entertaining entries all the time, but what the hell.

I was looking forward to the day when I could say, “I’m employed!!” I though that day was coming soon. I have been waiting for a callback on a gig that seemed pretty open and shut… Guess not.

Driving home from playing videogames with Aaron, my phone began its goofy chirp. (My ring tone is the communicator from the Star Trek T.V. series. NERD!!) I check out the I.D. and it says, “Unknown”. This is the sign that it’s him, the guy who is helping me find work. I don’t believe in answering the phone while driving, but this is very different. Yeah, I’m a hypocrite, who isn’t.


Sure enough, it’s him. We chit chat for a bit and I’m informed that the job has gone to someone inside the company. The person knew the place and the job inside out, blah, blah, blah. I can’t blame them, they hired the best person for the job. I just didn’t know they were talking to other people. It sounded like I was the only candidate.

So I was fine with it at first, no big whoop, lets move on. Then later last night the bummed out phase hit. Now what? What the hell am I gonna do?

I’ve had to turn down three opportunities up in the Bay Area. I kept getting contacted by this woman from school who showed some of my work to folks and they wanted me to talk about working for them. Shit! Have I screwed up yet again? Is it my mission in life to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time? If that’s the case, shouldn’t a Budweiser truck have struck me down by now? (See, it’s ironic because I’m an alcoholic.)

It’s not all over, and I hang onto that with every fiber of my being. There is another opening in the web department and I have a considerable amount of experience and would be good for the job. I’ve been doing my research and figured out I can do it. It’s not my first choice. I came here to get involved in production and web ain’t exactly film or T.V.

As a matter of fact all my web work was intended to help get me into movies. It helped a little. I got to go to a film festival and even won an award. It’s all crap, but it was something.

So I pick myself up, dust myself off and keep on going. It doesn’t make the pain any easier to swallow, it just means I have to keep on keeping on. Giving up is silly. If you believe in something, I mean really believe in something, you move forward no matter how much the ego is bruised or the dreams dashed by outsiders. They don’t know me or what I am capable of. I do and that’s what is most important.

For a pick me up, maybe I’ll see if I can download a Tricorder sound.

NERD!!!!!