HOT Off The Press #6

By Scoop Snoopum

You know him as the Candyman, but Tony Todd has been working in the industry for 20 years. With such credits to his name as THE CROW, FINAL DESTINATION, and COP ROCK, Todd has shown us just how versatile his talents are.

He sat down with me for this interview.

SS: Tony Todd, good to see you again.

TT: Good to see you too Scoop.

SS: Let dig right in-

TT: -Let’s do it.

SS: Do you find it hard in today's Hollywood?

TT: Hollywood is always a tough nut-

SS: -Because you’re black.

TT: Uh, because it’s a tough business.

SS: And I’m sure being black doesn’t help.

TT: I wouldn’t know.

SS: Because you’re not really black?

TT: I am black, but because of that I’m only seeing it from my eyes and not how society sees me.

SS: Huh, just being yanked around by the man.

TT: I don’t really know.

SS: Well trust me, you are. Now lets move on to a major topic concerning you.

TT: Sure.

SS: How big is your cock?

TT: Excuse me?

SS: Your penis. The word going around the convention is it’s quite an impressive specimen.

TT: Who’s saying this?

SS: Me, but I’m telling some very reliable sources that it’s true. So, how big is it?

TT: I’m not going to discuss-

SS: -Tony, it’s me… Scoop. If I don’t ask these questions who’s going to?

TT: Well, I’d rather not answer that.

SS: Come on!

TT: No.

SS: Come on!

TT: No.

SS: Fine, how about some comparative item –

TT: -Fine! Sam Jackson.

SS: You’re penis is the same size as Sam Jackson’s?

TT: No, damn it! It’s the size of Sam Jackson.

(Stunned silence from yours truly.)

TT: You happy? It’s as big as Sam Jackson.

SS: Um, why Sam Jackson.

TT: I drew a happy face on it one time. It looked just like Sam Jackson. When he’s bald, not like when he’s got that Pulp Fiction hair.

SS: Well, Tony, uh, congratulations.

TT: Sure, whatever.

SS: Let’s wrap this up.

TT: Please.

SS: Anything you’ve got coming up?

TT: I was hoping to get the role of Lance Guest in that one man show-

SS: Lance Guest: Inside the mind?

TT: Yeah. Then that Daniel Roebuck guy came in and took it away.

SS: The man is fightin’ to keep you down.

TT: Fuckin’ A right. The Goddamned man!


Luckily Tony has been able to find some work. He was in 10 projects in 2005 and has 13 projects due for release this year.



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