I'm not even sure if it's something I want to keep pressing forward on, but I always have that, "just around the corner" attitude that is very frustrating. Sometimes a corner is just a corner and there is nothing more beyond it. I'm not trying to sound negative if that's how it's coming off, I'm just trying to be a realist.
I am in Los Angeles. I am meeting some people. Maybe I should sit down and just start writing scripts. I've got a ton of ideas and they aren't that bad. Some are even very commercial which is odd for me. It's not even about money or living some big fancy Hollywood lifestyle. I know it's all bullshit. It's more about achieving some dream I've always had of being involved in the movies. I know the outcome won't be that illusion I used to dream about (still do sometimes) as a kid, but shit if I can't follow through with what I set out to do in the first place. What kind of person does that make me.
How many times have I said this? Is anybody keeping track? Is this a yearly thing for me? Is this a cycle or a directional spiral? I know I've written something like this before, I just don't know if there is anything different about it, or it's the same old whiny bullshit.
I guess this time I'm pondering ending a current project that is actually operational for another project that is a little more questionable. Plus if I give up on FGP, am I just proving I can't complete something I started? This does have quite a few interesting questions and facets to it, don't you think? I am one fascinating son-of-a-bitch!
I think the most bizarre part is I could actually do both. Stop worrying about the primer and getting it going, just have fun with it and write and have fun with that as well.
Who knows.
Maybe I'll do a list of some of the movies I've liked this year, then again, that would be something I should put up n FGP. Interesting how that works.
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