I have to consider myself lucky that I lost my job when I did. Thanks to the recession, unemployment keeps getting extended so I can continue to survive.
I'm not sitting back and relaxing, I continually look for work and find very little opportunity, even after joining job boards and a few subscription job sites. It ain't pretty out here. I've even started looking at stuff that seems ridiculous, like being a Whoville Resident at the Universal Studios theme park. I validate it by saying it's an experience. Something that I can add to my bok of stories to tell.
I've also done a ton of writing that has gotten me nowhere, but does help me hone my script writing skills. Again another thing I can chalk up as experience gained. But now what?
I've never been unemployed this long in my life and to say I'm itching to work is a bit of an under statement. I miss having the ability to eat out when I want without worrying about how it will effect my shopping budget. I like being able to buy new clothes and shoes when my old ones ware out. The ass fell out of my jeans the other day, so I'm trying to lose some weight quickly with the hopes of fitting into a couple pairs that no longer fit. Luckily the food budget is going to be a helper in that department.
I'd like to find a job that is in my field, even more preferably something that could help me with career goals, but that option is quickly coming to a close. That means a job that pays rent while I try to maintain the energy and attitude to keep me writing in the evenings. That's the toughest thing after all. Coming home from a mind numbing day of soul crushing and not want to sit in front of the TV and vegetate. An affliction that effects everybody.
If I had a wife or family, I'd have that thing to hold on to, keeping bread on the table for them. But it's just me... Well me and the roommate if I want to claim responsibility for helping keep a roof over a head. But really it's just me and I have to keep wondering if I'm worth it. Is my happiness worth the struggle to keep fighting for a dream that may be moving further and further away with each passing day?
Maybe I should just start a blog and clam that as my legacy... Oh, shit.
2 comments:
I don't know who you are, I came across your blog on the random and i couldn't help but notice, you sound a bit miserable and so it was that i was compelled to say if you were an alcoholic and a drug addict and you no longer are (4 years) then you've accomplished a great deal, a deal that some people choose not to stick with till the end. the recession hit everybody and its hard but i'm just young, i hate my job but its a job i got until i get a job i like and maybe you should do it too, oh and do not stop script writing, i'm something over a writer too and you have to say to yourself "even if another soul never reads this, it has to be something i do for myself first"
Sorry to patronise. Feel better!
if only i could accept my own advice as quickly as i dispence it
Hey, good luck man. Under NO circumstances give up on your writing. With things looking so grim, you got to keep your dreams alive.
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