Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Tranny Spam And Other Notes

I have officially received my favorite piece of porn spam ever. Instead of telling me about hot wet pussy or giant tits or sluts who go all the way, this one decided to appeal to the educated side of perverts.

Subject Line: tranny movies shakespearian

Really? That’s really how you’re going to sell me? Hold on, let me put on my tweed coat with patches on the elbows and light my pipe.

So what’s the pitch? I know that men played female characters back in Shakespeare’s time, but this is a whole new ballgame (pun intended). Hell if I saw tickets on sale for a group of tranny’s performing Othello, I’d camp out to be first in line. That’s breakthrough fucking theater right there.

Now there was a moment where I knew this could be crap. Click to read and I’m suddenly offered cheap Viagra or how a sheik needs my money and I’ll be rewarded with riches beyond my wildest dreams, but I’ll risk it in hopes of discovering the next level of the Bard’s work.

As I’m sure we both could guess, this was just a link for a trannys fuck all holes site. There was a flourish that got a chuckle from my inner twelve year old.

Actual quote:

They both poured themselves another drink and sat down on the couch. Vanity said, "I have a secret I want to show you.", and she stood up and took off her skirt. Roxy didn’t seem surprised at all. She said, “Good, I need to get fuckedö.”


Fuckedo? With an umlaut? That was first used in Twelfth Night, right?

Is it pronounced ‘fucked-o’, 'fuc-kedo', or ‘fuck-edo’? I like the last one. I just like saying edo, my favorite period in Japanese history. That's not true, the tokogawa period ruled. Now I'm just talking out of my ass.

Back on topic; I know it’s just some spelling error, but man I love that word, especially when I think of it as some tranny jargon.

Tranny 1: Hey Marge, have you seen Cindy?

Tranny 2: Yeah, I’d like to get some fuckedo from that!

Nasty! Unless you’re into that…then good for you.

I think Shakespeare would be proud of this new word being attributed to him, except for the people who believe Marlowe really wrote it. Oh, snap! (Yeah, I just used 'oh, snap'.)

In other news, it looks like I’ll be going off line for a while. The big push on moving takes place on Thursday and I wont have internet access until February 2nd. So I’m not forgetting about you, I mean that from the heart. I’ll be using the internet cafĂ© down the street to check my emails, but since unemployment keeps me budgeting, I wont be posting. I know you’re depressed, but I’ll be back with all sorts of new adventures of me with my Mexican sidekick. Or being the sidekick to a Mexican, again I’m not sure.

Also, dream job work stuff is in the early cooking stages so hopefully I'll have exciting news on that when I return. Keep your fingers crossed and continue praying to your heathen gods for me.

1 comment:

I'm GabeZilla. said...

I think we're both akin to faceless minions or hired goons than sidekicks. Unfortunately I don't have a cool Bible verse to spout before I splatter a stoolpigeon. We'll need to work on that.