Portablog

This is my first entry from the exciting new laptop that I recently purchased. It’s a decked out, state of the art, fully loaded, kick ass, and take names Apple Macbook Pro. Yes, very exciting.

Why buy it? Well, I just wanted a level of freedom that I haven’t had in a while. I now have the ability to write, edit, photo-edit and other exciting creative things that I like to do. And yes, I can surf the net and fid porn! I also snagged a special camera bag for my SLR that holds the computer, a couple lenses and some extra crap. So it’s all kinds of levels of cool to a geek like me.

It’s been a while since I‘ve written and since the last time, I quit smoking for just over a month, had a crazy emotional breakdown and almost started drinking again. I settled on starting up smoking instead. So I’m an odd form of success through failure.

I’ve been so freaked out being on this up and down emotional rollercoaster, that I finally made a decision to go on anti-depressants for a while. It will not only help me quit smoking, but should balance me out while I try to get through some of the social and emotional issues that I’ve been starting to work on through therapy. So I’m using them as a temporary aid and not a permanent solution. That’s how this shit should be used.

It’s interesting that I’ve spent the last week or so trying to pinpoint when I really started freaking out again. I’ve gone searching for people to blame and make some form of order out o chaos when I came o a decision just before sitting down to write: This is life. There is no one to blame. Shit happens and I jus need to ride it out and start making decisions that will send me in a more positive direction. I’m sure I’ve made this statement before in a past entry. That’s always the way. I travel in circles or more like spirals. Continually passing by the same point again and again until it finally sinks in and my psychology moves out to he next ring. The learning process begins all over again with new circumstances, new situations.

So I’ll start on the meds on Wednesday or Thursday, depending on when I can actually get to the drug store. If it’s anything like last time, it’ll take about four to five days to start feeling the effects. Hopefully I’ll be able to start looking at the world with a balanced point of view for a while. We’ll see.

Or now, here are a couple of pictures I’ve taken and processed through the software on the laptop







This last one looks like Jenae was taking a picture of herself in a mirror, but I'm actually taing a picture of her taking a picture of me.