Thursday, August 27, 2009

Inglourious Spazterd

So I go to see Inglourious Basterds for the second time. I was a little off put the first time by some of the music cues and editing choices. I liked it, but I didn't love it. After a few days, I realized how long it was sticking with me, so thought I'd see it again. It's very good, I don't know if it's Tarantino's best, but very good.

So I go to the Dome to check it out. A great place to see a movie like this. It's a relatively empty theater being it's Tuesday in the early after noon. The only folks there are either unemployed, or on vacation.

This guy sits about 5 rows in front of me and as he's sitting makes a very loud "Frumph" that seems to have a level of pain involved. Whoops, it happens. Then he takes off his shoes, balances them on the back of the chair next to him. This is starting to get odd. He then spreads his legs and wedges his ankles in the seat spaces in front of him and starts spreading his toes. Stretching them like he was giving them a workout. Like he was going to a bar later and would impress the ladies by cracking walnuts between his powerful toe digits. Then he has a quick head spasm. Did you ever see the Mike Leigh film Naked? Ewen Bremner plays a Scottish fella who has a weird head jerk every so often. It was just like that, a Highland fling that looked quite jarring. Again, no skin off my neck, so I let the guy do his thing. Some people buy popcorn, some people make out in the back row, this guy does toe aerobics while trying to separate his head from his shoulders.

The film starts and everything is going swell. I'm into the film and have forgotten about the Spazterd. Of course, this can't last, he lets out another noise and jerks in his chair. It was kind of a "Fravvle", with a lot of nasal and that internal pain factor kicking in. A little while later, he does it again. I'm hoping this doesn't start to become a factor.

The third time he fravvled, It clicked. He made the noise whenever the text came up announcing a new chapter. He was angry at the chapter headings. He verbally did not approve of Mr. Tarantino's artistic choice in this matter. I waited for Chapter 4 to hit and sure enough the guy fravvled again, but this time was his most ferocious. I was enjoying the film, but was really waiting to see what this guy did when Chapter 5 came up since his anger seemed to be growing.

Chapter 5 flashes, he lets out a very loud "Fravvle!" Some one in the back shouts "Shut Up!". This really gets to the guy who takes a swipe at his shoes, still balanced on the back of the chair. They fly off into the empty rows behind him. He stands and fravvles his way out of the theater. He'd be stomping if he had shoes, but was more of an angry patter. A few laughs from the people near me who have witnessed this and we get back into the movie.

The movie ends and I stay through the credits. I get up, grab my bag ans start to walk out. As I'm hitting the exit, I hear an usher shout to the other employees cleaning the theater, "Hey, I found a shoe!"

It was a good afternoon.

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