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I tend to look at the negative aspects of myself. This is a big surprise, right? Anyone who knows me or has spent an hour with me gets it. I’m not saying I’m an Eeyore (I used to be), but if a situation comes up that could easily go fifty/fifty, I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts that it goes against me.

It could just be the way life has been treating me recently. I’m hearing a lot of “no’s” and very few, “yes’s”. That can have an effect on me. It can tend to make me feel like it’ll always be a “no.”

Impossible. Plain and simple, it’s impossible.

But lets get back to what the no’s can do to my mindset. Since all I hear in my head is the next no coming, I tend to worry and rack my brain over what it is I’ve done to warrant a no that hasn’t even been pronounced yet.

This latest yet to be pronounced no is in the form of an email. I wrote a friend asking if they were available to hang out. I wrote in the note, “no biggie if they want to or not”, but at the same time it is.

So I get no response. This has come after a long day of “no’s” including another job rejection. Now I’m wondering to myself, what did I do to them? What did I do to warrant no response? Did I write something that could have been taken the wrong way? I’m known to do that. (What’s the email version of foot in mouth? Other than asshole that is.)

Notice that I haven’t even stopped to think of the myriad of things that could be happening on their end. From something as a server being down to previous plans that has kept them from checking email, to being arrested in Bangkok on murder charges. The list is endless.

Part of it is pure selfishness. It’s all about me. This is a trademark of alcoholics and flight attendants. It’s always about us. We are never considering what is going on in the other person’s life. How busy they could be. They might very well want to hang out, would love to hang out, want nothing more than to hang out.

So how do I remedy this thinking? How do I take what is in my head and look at it from the other person’s perspective? I guess I’m doing that right now, but need to practice in the real world a little more often.

I just need to shrug it off and not take it so damned personally. Everyone has a life (except me) and they need to live it. Accept it and move on John. Not everyone is here for me.

So if anyone hears from Bruno Kirby, let him know I’m still waiting for a damned response to me email.

(Bad joke. Rest in peace Mr. Kirby. You brought a lot to this world and know that you will be missed.)