Just Call Me John Merrick

I was out walking yesterday and was told I was ugly. That’s nice. It was a real morale booster. It was some girl with her friends and she stopped me by the arm as I was passing by and she said, “Damn, you are ugly. What’s anyone going to see in you?” They all laughed and went about their walk as I went about mine.

Was the universe trying to tell me something, or was it just a person having a bad day deciding to be mean? Or maybe it’s just the way of Los Angeles? Doesn’t matter, it still stings. When I went to the gym, I made sure to walk next to the fat guy so I could feel a little better about it. This is also a mean thing to do, but I needed some kind of ego boost, if a shallow one at that.


I was reminded the other day that I don’t smile. It’s not that I don’t want to smile, it’s just one of those things that is hard for me to do. I always think about Buster Keaton and when he was growing up his father would smack him if he smiled on stage. He needed a stone face for comedy and that’s what he ended up with. I’m curious if he ever thought about that. Would he have been willing to trade his success to be able to genuinely be able to smile again? Maybe he smiled a lot in his private and I just don’t remember reading about it

Hell, would being able to smile actually help me? I’m still stuck with the same mug.

I’ve had relationships and they’ve all gone south. I bet they would look at me and find me ugly too. That’s the way relationships go. One day, they think you’re hot, the next day you make them want to vomit. Yep, I’m a real catch.

Sorry, I don’t mean to sound negative about myself, I’m just venting. Please don’t lay any pity on me. It’s beneath us.

Anyway, I’m going to go for a walk again today, I’ll stick to side streets and away from the general populace for now. If someone comes to close, I’ll drag my left leg behind me, chanting, “I am not an animal, I am a human being!”

I know more negative thinking. I’m just trying to make light of an ugly situation (get it).













This post brought to you by, Moxie.
Moxie, it tastes like John looks.